As you wander the world and spend time amongst people of various cultures and backgrounds, it's fascinating to see what is socially acceptable. One of the places where the limits of taste are most clearly defined is over the dinner table. Growing up, my brothers and I were instructed by our parents on what was considered to be appropriate. Like most sets of societal rules, these were adhered to more stringently in public, but we were always reprimanded for "gounching" on the chairs (does anyone else know what this is?) or wearing a hat at the table. Happily, in this day and age, being and outsider is generally excuse enough for not being perfectly in tune with local customs so as to not cause too much offense, but they still judge you.
Comedies of manner have long made a joke of the country bumpkin (or a hooker with a heart of gold) being overwhelmed with the sheer quantity of forks at his/her disposal at a formal meal. Imagine, if you will, the time when the fork was making its transition from the serving tray to the dining plate. By the 10th Century they were being used throughout the Middle East, but didn't become common in most of mainland Europe (Italy was the early adopter) until the 18th. To those fresh to the idea, it must have looked like someone using one of those wheel-shaped pizza cutters on their pancakes. The habit took some time to catch on, spreading slowly from royalty to commoners, with loads of detractors along the way. Many thought eating with forks to be effeminate. What kind of man wouldn't just use his fingers? Then, of course, as they became more popular, those who went without them at table were looked upon as barbarians. For quite some time, they were rare enough that you would still have to bring your fork with you to dinner.
At my parents' house, we always had paper napkins with dinner, which were to be placed on your lap at the start of the meal. Yeah, after living abroad for a few years, I definitely got out of the habit. The Spartans are credited with the first napkins, which were simple pieces of dough used to remove the grease from their fingers, which later became a piece of bread (nice and absorbent I guess). In Roman times, you might have a sudaria (handkerchief) and a mappa (tablecloth/doggy bag), made of cloth, that you brought with you to dinner. During the Middle Ages, most common Europeans used the back of their hand, their sleeve, or that piece of bread to wipe their mouths. Napkins became a communal appliance among the well-to-do and at feasts, brought at need by a servant (maintained today with the tradition of the waiter's towel), with or without the use of a fingerbowl. The size and proper usage of napkins seem to have shifted innumerable times before they reached their modern state, which is still not standardized. No wonder I could never quite keep it all straight.
While I have discussed some drinking traditions before (I think in the "Booze" post. it's getting tough to keep track), it might be good to reflect on the methods of imbibing spirits. Granted, I was in a fraternity, but contrary to popular belief, I do enjoy savoring fine spirits. However, when handed a shot glass in a foreign country, it's often a crap-shoot as to the appropriate method of imbibing. If you sip at it, there is the possibility they will think you unmanly. If you take it all in one gulp, you may be thought of as uncouth or a drunkard. I'll leave it to your own discretion as to which is worse (though that may depend on the circumstances). Most places where you are expected to savor the beverage, you are served with a more ornate vessel than the modern "shot glass," but it ain't necessarily so. You could ask for guidance, I suppose, but that probably says something about you too.
Goodness there are innumerable rules for the table. We haven't gotten to eating with the wrong hand in the Middle East, belching over dinner, leaving food on the plate at the end of the meal, or that (possibly apocryphal) story about a man dying from not being allowed to leave the table during dinner to relieve himself. I think that today's essay has given enough food for thought on the topic for now. The next time you're out for dinner and you forget which one is the dessert fork (psst, it's the one above your plate), smile to yourself as you remember that once upon a time there was a man who sat at table thinking, "They eat with those things?"
How about you? Is there some surprising eating custom or tradition that you've encountered? Have you ever embarrassed yourself at table with you "barbarian" habits?
Fork History - http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/design/2012/06/the_history_of_the_fork_when_we_started_using_forks_and_how_their_design_changed_over_time_.html
Fork History - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork
Napkins - http://www.foodreference.com/html/art-history-napkins-729.html
Napkins - http://whatscookingamerica.net/EllenEaston/Napkins-History.htm
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